Bummer Dude

What an interesting year for me in the area of fitness/workout knowledge. I started weight lifting in college... along with doing step aerobics (with slouch socks and the thong over the bike shorts look.. but we won't discuss that now). Regardless, I have been weight lifting for a long time... and I love working out and challenging myself... or so I thought.

In the past year of studying to get my personal training certification, I realized I don't know jack crap.

• I had no idea of how the human body REALLY moves and works. I am learning more about it and its fascinating!
• My world has been opened to a huge arena of amazing trainers and programs and ideas that I never knew existed before. I can't get enough of reading their blogs, books and listening to their podcasts. (Nick Tumminello, Leigh Peele, Alwyn Cosgrove, Todd Durkin, Craig Ballantine, the Fit Cast, Tom Venuto, Chris and Kara Mohr and Alan Aragon...just to name a few).
• I am learning moves.. and I mean really learning how to do moves that I have been doing for years...squats, lunges, deadlifts. I am learning for the first time how to clean, push press, kettlebell swing. It is a bit bewildering how much new stuff I am learning about stuff I thought I knew!!

I am as fit as I have ever been in my life and yet there is SO MUCH MORE room for growth.

I wish I would have had a strength coach or a weight lifting mentor when I started. I can only imagine where I would be now. I never really progressed beyond "doing 3 sets of 10"that I read in a fitness magazine. That is where I was comfortable. That is what I knew. I did not really know about how to push my limits... how to really grow my strength, my fitness level, my capacities.

I am learning now and I guess that is better than never learning it.

I read the other day that it takes 10 years to master a certain field.

I can hardly wait to see where I am in 10 years. It should be wonderful.

Where ever you go...there you are

I have been giving a great deal of thought to goals recently. Several incidents helped me focus on goal thinking: the ending of my jillfit plan, attending a meditation workshop, a goal discussion with my Lulu Lemon friends and finally some inspiring conversations with my best girl friends. I am sure more blog posts will follow that came out of those inspiring events but this one talks about the why behind the goals.

I was thinking about my 18% body fat goal. I never could answer in a complete enough way for me why I wanted to hit this. Yes, I want to look hot. I want to be lean and muscular. I want to have people look at me and need to use the words "ripped" or "diesel" to describe me. :)

I was way transfixed on the number but it seemed like the more I drove toward it the further away I was getting. What was I hoping would happen at that number? What would being at 18% body fat mean? Was I holding on a hope that something magical would happen if I hit that number? Would I suddenly look in the mirror and be completely at peace with my body? Would my struggle with food be over? Would opportunity open up that I didn't have before at 19% body fat?

Nope. I would just be me... at a lower body fat number. I would have days that I felt like I look awesome and days where I am completely unsatisfied at the reflection looking back at me. I would still want to eat copious amounts of peanut butter. My friends would (and do) love me at what ever body fat percentage I am at. The only opportunities that will open up for me are the ones that I actively pursue.

Have you ever felt attached to a goal like this? If only I had the money then I would....., If only I were 15 lbs lighter than life would be drastically different, if only I weren't stuck in this dead end job or relationship...., if only.. if only....

When you understand the why you want the goal, it helps you be clearer in decisions that you need to make. It helps you to understand the person you are. It made lead you in a different direction all together. Your goal of losing 15 lbs to have your life get better might be better resolved by having a goal of working on self esteem and self confidence.

But you know what, no matter what income level, new relationship, new job or the number on the scale you still have the same you. The same patterns that drive you, the same responses you respond with, the same triggers that you trigger you all of it will be with you, and all the things that make you happy, sad and mad. If you want to make BIG changes in your life, think about changing those kinds of things. THAT is amazing and transforming.

Gratitude

This morning I woke up and felt charged for the day. I am feeling overwhelmed by the sense of gratitude for my body. I ask a lot of it on a daily basis. It gets me through hard workouts and it gets me through the activities of daily life. I can breathe easily. My joints don't hurt. I can walk up and down stairs easily. I can see and hear what is going on around me. I have no life threatening diseases. Not every one can say that every day. I know there are people who wake up in pain, who are not very mobile, who have a hard time breathing fully, who can't see or hear that well. I am grateful for the body I have.

Do I wish I was a bit leaner now after eating clean for 6 months? Yep.

But in looking in the mirror this morning while working out and watching my leg muscles work, I am happy with the strong healthy body that I have. Connecting with this feeling makes me want to take even better care of it. Fill it with whole healthy food, minimize processed food and alcohol, move it often as well as give it the rest and recovery that it needs.

Take some time and think about your body. What it does, how it serves you in a day? Can you treat it better? Are you taking the best care of it you can? Connect with the gratitude for your body and treat it like the amazing machine that it is.

Round 2 the Lessons Learned

My goal for my 2nd 12 week fat loss plan was 18% body fat and to be able to run the recent 10k here in Richmond - wearing running shorts and a sports bra to be able to show off some impressive abs.

My results? Scale is about the same; I am about an inch smaller around my waist and butt, body fat is in the 20-22% range.

Admittedly I am disappointed I am not where I thought I would be. It is a drag to set a goal and then not hit it. Who do I have to hold responsible for this? Me! It was all in my hands to succeed or fail.

Of course from failure, must come learning.

What I learned:

- Every one struggles. How quickly you get back up is the important thing.

- Fatigue - My worst enemy, keeps me from working hard in the gym and makes me feel like I am hungry. I still have more to learn around this issue. I had deep fatigue during several weeks of this plan. Was it diet? Was it over training? What else was going on? How can I best work through this obstacle?

- Lifting Heavy is fun. This marked a return to what I had been doing a while back. I hadn't been in the gym in a while so I found going in there fun and inspiring for a while. I definitely gained muscle and saw how much I could push my body

- I need change in my routine. As referenced above, the gym was fun to go in to ....until it wasn't. About week 5 , I was really struggling with getting myself there and doing the same workout routine again. There were weeks I did my best to stay the course and other times I opened it up and just played.

- Eating a non-carb centered diet feels routine now. That makes me happy. When I started 6 months ago, I was a cereal for breakfast, rice for lunch, pasta for dinner and more cereal before bed kind of girl. Now, proteins and veggies make up most of my meals. I struggle less around choosing the healthy option at meal times.

I even made it through a gluten episode with out bingeing or drinking! I was thrilled. Usually when I feel tired and depressed (when I have had gluten) I want carbs and/or alcohol in the worst way. This time I just fueled with the good stuff - veggies and protein. That made me happy.

I was hoping to be leaner by this time but I am not. I was hoping to make it all the way through my 12 week plan with out a binge but I did not. I am happy I have learned and grew through the experience.

I still want to get leaner. I do not want to give up that goal. It is so much a part of the vision of who I am. I am taking a break from being on a plan for a few weeks and stop being as focused on the body fat number for the moment. Then I will hop back in as focused as ever!!

Round 2 Weeks 9 & 10: Playing and Learning

I can't lie. 12 weeks is a long time for me to follow a plan. While I have cracked down more on the food simply because I was feeling really bad there for a few weeks (fatigue, depression, lack of motivation, weight gain), I have started to play with my workouts more. I have been doing crossfit a couple of times a week which has been fun. I have also been putting together workouts that I want to do. Today was leg day but I didn't want to go in to the gym so I created a great leg circuit in my workout room and had a blast. I like workouts where I can feel playful and joyful. I will probably open this up even more once I get through my plan.

2 weeks from being done and I am pretty sure I am not going to hit my 18% goal nor my goal to be able to run the Monument 10k wearing just a sports bra and running shorts in order to show off some killer abs. While there is a bit of disappointment in saying that, I am ok with it. I have learned a ton about myself and my body over the past 10 weeks (how many people can say that?!) I am sure if I would have executed the original plan flawlessly I would have met my goals.

But there were times I wasn't happy and I wasn't feeling good. When that was the case, I made modifications and got help. It is funny to me that what helped with my food was really getting strict back to the original plan and writing down my food again. I feel good again and am enjoying the tracking of the eating. With my workouts, it meant being more open. I like to play and explore and push and move. This is one reason why I love being a personal trainer.

"Oh you don't like that exercise or can't do it? Lets try this one instead!"

" I just found this great new workout. Lets try it and see how it is. "

With clients I am able to increase my cycles of learning and learn more than I ever could on my own... and they get more fit because of it. win-win!

Some of you had asked what is next for me when this 12 weeks is up... I am not sure is my answer at the moment. I want to continue to get leaner for sure but I feel like I need a rest from following a prescribed plan. What ever is next it will definitely involve playing and learning!

Round 2 weeks 6 & 7: We All Fall

I am happy to report that the past two weeks of my program provided me with a BIG learning opportunity. I am laughing as I type that as I was pretty miserable during these 2 weeks but happy now to be on the other side and really learned from the experience.

I entered week 6 with boredom and dread. I don't like keeping my routines the same for very long. I found myself not looking forward to getting myself to the gym. I love working out so it drives me crazy when I dread it. Then mid-week of week 6, I got a cold. I never get sick and this knocked me to my knees. Of course the timing being awesome, in the throws of a cold, I attended a conference for personal trainers. I had an amazing weekend and learned a ton. As you might imagine at a conference for personal trainers it was working out fairly constantly for 2.5 days. Now my body was worn out in addition to feeling the burden of not wanting to workout.

At the end of week 6, the binge gates opened. Eating clean for me has become routine and fairly easy for me so I was surprised when this behavior surfaced.

Saturday night I went to a new restaurant with a friend had a yummy gluten free treat meal (cheese plate, crepes). Afterwards, I joined up with some friends to watch the UFC fights that night. I felt the need for more food in the worst, deep way....a burning desire to open the flood gates. I had chips and salsa and shared a dessert. I got home and I needed more... that urgent rush of food.... I turned to a favorite combo of peanut butter and raw oatmeal with some honey. Some how, I finally stopped and went to bed.

Next morning I woke up and started fresh... full veggie egg white omelet, oat bran - my usual. I was fine until that evening then I felt that pulling hunger... no I am not sure I can call it hunger.. I was very aware during all of this eating that the primal feeling I was feeling was not hunger but I ate anyway. That night my other favorite food combo - peanut butter (trigger food anyone?) with rice cakes - some times with chocolate and a time with marshmallow fluff that my daughter had purchased. Whoa.. it was crazy and felt unstoppable.

I texted my coach.... she told me to not beat myself up and start fresh again in the morning (are you picking up on the best way to recover from over eating?). So I did. It took me a few days to recover from this binge and bring my eating back to 100% compliance.

When I look to the reasons I can see that I was headed for it for a while:

• I had been sick - not getting the sleep I needed plus working out and not resting when I had a pretty bad cold
• For the past few weeks for what ever reason, I was not getting all my meals in so I was running at a bigger calorie defect than I should have
• I was feeling a little frustrated with my workouts and my slow process (consistent progress just not at the rate that I was wanting - but guess what? despite what the Biggest Loser shows you... body transformations TAKE TIME!)

So week 7, I changed up completely. I did some completely different workouts. I didn't make myself go into the gym if I was dreading it (fortunately I have a sweet set up for working out at home). I allowed myself some extra rest and have been making sure that I am getting all my calories in most days.

I am now facing week 8 with 4 weeks left to go in this round. I am read to face it and push hard to the end. I am pretty damn excited for it! I probably would not be had it not been for my stumble and making myself learn from it. We all fall... and we can all pick ourselves up, take a deep breath, learn and continue on.

Peace out!

Buddies and Fun - The Ideafit PT Conference

This weekend I attended the IdeaFit Personal Training Conference in Alexandria, Va. I had been looking forward to this conference for months. It lived up to all the expectations that I had. I was most excited about meeting the 3 trainers that I have been learning most from since becoming a personal trainer.... Todd Durkin, Alwyn Cosgrove and Nick Tuminello . I have loved learning from their youtube videos, blogs and books. They were even more amazing and inspiring in person. My workshops with each of them were each special and unforgettable for different reasons. If you are not familiar with their work - CHECK THEM OUT!!

While I learned so many things over the course of the weekend, my biggest lessons were around fun and workout buddies.

Fun - I need to bring more fun to my personal workouts and my clients' workouts. Many of you know, I enjoy working out. It is the part of fitness that I have always been good at and consistent with. I really enjoy working out. I do. But am I having fun with it? Can I make it more fun for myself? I don't know... but I am going to figure that out.

For my clients, they tell me they like coming to work out with me. I want to see how I can bring more fun into their workouts. Have them feeling challenged and smiling consistently. That would be awesome.

Buddies - The second lesson from the weekend was about workout partners. Many workshops were how to get more from working out with doing partner exercises....even had the Cosgrove's talk about moving to a semi-private personal training model and the benefits for the trainer and the clients. I workout alone for the most part. I run with friends some times and on a more rare occasion take a group ex class. What am I missing out on not having a partner with my lifting? How much better could I be if I had some one there to push me? I do like my alone time in the gym and getting the work done. But I had a fun time this weekend drilling with some people and I have seen some great videos of people pushing each other in the gym. I don't have any one now who could step in to this role at the moment but I will be looking for the opportunity as it comes up.

How do you have fun in your workouts?
Is it better with a buddy?