Finding my mojo post injury has been a struggle. I have put on some pounds and honestly, workouts that I previously did now make me nervous. I swing between being at peace with being slow, steady and coming back with better form to being in despair about the strength that I have lost. I flip back and forth between just eating whole nourishing food and scrambling for a tight, restrictive plan to get my eating back on track. I have gone through the whole "its not fair" blame game - totally playing the victim role. In deep anxiety about my expanding waist line, I have been desperate to find THE plan that will solve everything - make me lean, make it easy to turn down wine or chocolate, make me never struggle with food again. Magic pill anyone? :) And this is coming from some one who has consulted with nutritionists for years, bought countless plans from various trainers and holds two nutrition certifications herself. ha!
Then through some journaling and listening to some pretty wise people, I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes "The struggle is what teaches". So apparently, I still have lots of learning to do in this area. (yay learning!!)
Here is what my struggle has been teaching:
1) Holy crap! When you are struggling and fighting with something so hard, take a damn minute, slow down and figure out what you need to learn here. Its much better than wallowing in that particular emotion.
2) I am choosing to be in victim mode. I can also choose to change my attitude. Being a little plumper is hard? Bitch please. Losing some one you love is hard. Dealing with a terminal illness is hard. Living with my jeans being a little snugger after not working out for almost two months when I have a healthy body, a beautiful family, amazing friends and an in general dreamy life? I think I will be ok.
3) My search for the next plan that would solve all my problems is focusing on controlling the food and not with all the other stuff that is going on. I can't do weight loss from a control stand point for very long. The harder I fight to control the more I break and binge big time. Making choices daily, minute by minute, that come from a place of love and self-acceptance? Now THAT can get me some where.
Upon reflection, I think my mojo is back post injury. It just looks and feels different than it did before so I guess I didn't recognize it. I am spending time doing workouts that bring me joy. I get filled with joy in nourishing my body. Every thing else will settle out. While I feel better personally being a little leaner, I am not a better person because I am leaner. I am me at any weight or body fat percentage. And that is cool with me.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Books That Have Helped Me Make Shifts in Ways of Being
This year has been a big year of mental shifts for me. There are many things I can attribute to why this happened (coaching group, deliberate practice, just getting a wee bit older, etc) but one piece I would like to share about is some books that I have read.
These three books have helped me be different in this world. Happier.
1. Loving What Is by Byron Katie - With her simple set of questions, what she refers to as "The Work" she helps you see that you don't have to believe your thoughts and that arguing with reality causes suffering.
1. Is it True?
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be with out that thought?
I haven't internalized all that this book contains and some of the concepts that she addresses are hard for me to grasp but I get it enough to know that this is an important tool. It has helped me separate reality from my story that I bring to what is happening. Powerful beyond measure. By the way, she gives all of this information away for free on her website.
2. Being Happy: You Don't Have to Be Perfect to Lead a Richer, Happier Life by Ben Tal-Shahar
I have never considered myself a perfectionist. I feel like I am a "good enough" kind of person. However, this book really struck home for me in several ways. It made me see how in certain areas I was setting impossibly high standards that I could never meet and there for living in constant disappointment with myself. It also stated another point which I talked about in more detail in a previous blog post, that there is an assumption that happy people must be happy all the time and that if you are not then you are not really happy. This of course is not true. As obvious as it might be to some, this was a mind blowing realization to me. It allowed me to think that maybe I am a happier person than I thought even though I do have mood swings and get sad. I am happier person on a daily basis with this realization.
3. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin - I started this book as more of a "have to" read. It chronicles a writer taking on a one year project to be happier. Every month she has new things to try. As you all may know I am a HUGE fan of running monthly experiments! There are many resolutions that she tries that I like a lot. I think the biggest piece I am taking away however is make time for what you are passionate about and forget results. That is inspiring me to focus on a month of learning new things every day. I am passionate about learning... really for the sake of learning and not to get me anywhere. So I am going to purposely track learning one new thing each day for a month and see how I enjoy that. The forget about results part is pretty interesting too. For me for body image stuff, I had been driving for so long to get six pack abs or a low body fat percentage and I was making myself miserable. Now? I focus on filling up with nourishing food, delightful culinary experiences and challenging my body in ways that bring me joy. I am much happier and you know what? I did NOT balloon up to 200lbs!
What books have brought about big changes in your life?
These three books have helped me be different in this world. Happier.
1. Loving What Is by Byron Katie - With her simple set of questions, what she refers to as "The Work" she helps you see that you don't have to believe your thoughts and that arguing with reality causes suffering.
1. Is it True?
2. Can you absolutely know that it is true?
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be with out that thought?
I haven't internalized all that this book contains and some of the concepts that she addresses are hard for me to grasp but I get it enough to know that this is an important tool. It has helped me separate reality from my story that I bring to what is happening. Powerful beyond measure. By the way, she gives all of this information away for free on her website.
2. Being Happy: You Don't Have to Be Perfect to Lead a Richer, Happier Life by Ben Tal-Shahar
I have never considered myself a perfectionist. I feel like I am a "good enough" kind of person. However, this book really struck home for me in several ways. It made me see how in certain areas I was setting impossibly high standards that I could never meet and there for living in constant disappointment with myself. It also stated another point which I talked about in more detail in a previous blog post, that there is an assumption that happy people must be happy all the time and that if you are not then you are not really happy. This of course is not true. As obvious as it might be to some, this was a mind blowing realization to me. It allowed me to think that maybe I am a happier person than I thought even though I do have mood swings and get sad. I am happier person on a daily basis with this realization.
3. The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin - I started this book as more of a "have to" read. It chronicles a writer taking on a one year project to be happier. Every month she has new things to try. As you all may know I am a HUGE fan of running monthly experiments! There are many resolutions that she tries that I like a lot. I think the biggest piece I am taking away however is make time for what you are passionate about and forget results. That is inspiring me to focus on a month of learning new things every day. I am passionate about learning... really for the sake of learning and not to get me anywhere. So I am going to purposely track learning one new thing each day for a month and see how I enjoy that. The forget about results part is pretty interesting too. For me for body image stuff, I had been driving for so long to get six pack abs or a low body fat percentage and I was making myself miserable. Now? I focus on filling up with nourishing food, delightful culinary experiences and challenging my body in ways that bring me joy. I am much happier and you know what? I did NOT balloon up to 200lbs!
What books have brought about big changes in your life?
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