Looking back at my 39th year on the planet....

I recently celebrated my 39th birthday. Most people who know me know I love to take time to reflect and appreciate.  Quietly in the early morning hours of September 3rd, I sat at my computer and looked over the past year with the help of my google calendar and made a list. I made a list of wonderful things that I had done over the past year, people that I had encountered and experiences shared.  I was blown away by the completed list.  In the back of my mind, I knew this past year to be a transformational one but the list confirmed it for me beyond a shadow of a doubt.  I have been gluten free for 1 year. I completely changed the way I was eating and learned more about how to exercise than I ever thought possible.  I started doing CrossFit.  It makes me happy and I am having fun. I have had more amazing experiences with family and friends this year than perhaps ever before. I am grateful for all the new people that have come into my life over the past 365 days... some new folks and some reconnections with people I have known along time.

Now I am sure most of you don't want to read a blog post on how much I love my life and how I am thankful for every part of it. :)   My intention in sharing it is that I challenge you to sit back, reflect on the past week, month, or year and take stock of what you have. What do you have that you need to value more? What is making you happy? Do you have enough of that? What is stressing you out ? Can you reduce that? What is working? What is not working? What do I need to be doing differently?

Would love to hear from any one who does the exercise and what you learned from it.

A different way of working out

I posted a blog entry last week from Jillfit's Tara Ballard on her journey from an exercise addict finding a new way to workout that provided better results in less time. I had a friend comment that he thought her article was crap and clearly trying to sell something. Admittedly, I didn't believe it either when I first heard about it. Tara actually started me down this new way of exercising. (For more details, see here.)

I had just spent the last 18 years doing as much cardio as I could log and lifting 3 sets of 10 for every body part possible. I have run 2 marathons and 6 half marathons. I started distance running because I wanted to get in shape and lose weight. At the end of the 2006 marathon season, I was more flabby and injured. At the end of 2007, I ran two marathons but was not lean and eventually my body (and my mind) started breaking down on me when I tried to continue the long distance running.

It was 3 more years of complaining about how unfair it was and being really unhappy with myself. Working hard but not getting any where near what I wanted for myself body composition wise. I had convinced myself that I was lazy and worthless.

Finally, I stumbled across Metabolic Effect and Jillfit. These groups got me thinking about workouts in a a whole new way. The theme: heavy weights and high intensity. Get to where you are breathless and burning.

I remember thinking:

1) I hope this works as I know there is this woman on facebook who brags about spending about 2 - 2.5 hours a day working out and if I can do it in 15 -30 and get the same results then THAT is friggin' awesome!

2) I am PISSED I didn't learn about this earlier so much time and energy wasted.

Now I CrossFit 3x a week and do yoga and I am so much closer to the body I have always wanted. I am comfortable in my own skin. It has taken a while for me to get my head around this short but more intense working out. I often say to people I will never distance run again. Now that may or may not be true. I will never distance run again to get in shape (You don't run to get in shape, you must be in shape to run!). I might decide to do it for the solitude, for a challenge, for the companionship.

I see so many people out there running to lose weight, to reduce body fat and I wanted so badly to tell them... there is a different way!!

Addicted to CrossFit?

CrossFit. You may or may not have heard of it. Chances are if you have heard of it you are probably aware of how divided it can make the fitness community. I avoided it for years due to 1) not believing I could do it and 2) it has a nasty reputation of being unsafe. In a nutshell, CrossFit is all about constantly varied, high-intensity, functional movement. This means a workout format that changes daily. You never know what you are going to get each day. The repertoire of moves includes Olympic lifts (clean, snatch, overhead squat, etc), body weight movements (pushups, pull ups, sit ups) gymnastic type moves (handstands, muscle ups), rowing and sprinting among other things. The workouts are short in duration - some times as little as 4 minutes, some times as much as 30 and at the end of each you are completely wrung out.

Back in February I ventured to a CrossFit class at CrossFit Midlo thanks to an invitation from my friend Kathy. I came back 1 x a week for the next few weeks. CrossFit Midlo opened in its official place at the beginning of April. I moved to going 2x a week. Finally in May, I established a 3x a week cadence.

I was extremely cautious at first, going in eyes wide open looking for all the unsafe movements I was expecting to see. Kevin Knight,who heads up CrossFit Midlo, showed me how to do moves in the CrossFit style. The various squats, push ups, pull ups, burpees and swings are done a little differently than what you would normally see in a typical gym. I watched as he took care of all his members making sure that each was working with modifications and scale that worked for them. At the same time, he doesn't let you off the hook and let you coast when he knows you can be safely pushing harder. (This particular trait of his makes me mutter bad things to him under my breath while I am working out.) I was seeking out unsafe moves that would have be saying "Ah-ha! I knew it!" Instead, I found challenge and intensity under guidance and instruction.

After several months of going regularly, despite being at a CrossFit box that is pretty far away from my house, I LOVE going. I love the intensity. I love the short duration of the workout. I love that on several occasions I have teared up with pride in myself for having accomplished something that I didn't think I could do. I really enjoy the other women who workout with me that have always been so friendly and welcoming and are completely bad ass in their workouts. I love that my body is responding in ways I never thought it would. I am more muscley (not a real word, using it any how). I am leaner and I love it. With my clean diet and CrossFit, I finally feel like I am on the right path.

On my last trip and on the next 3 trips I am taking, I have located other CrossFit gyms to go and visit so that I can get a workout while I am away.

Am I addicted to it? Yeah - I think I am. I am not so blinded to think it is THE way every one needs to workout but I feel like I am lucky that I have found what works for me. No more: hours being miserable on cardio machines, distance running, wasting my time doing 3 sets of 10 exercises 3 times for every possible muscle group in my body.

I have not found anything at my CrossFit box to be unsafe. Kevin and Ryan are careful to watch form and to learn what their folks can and can't do and support accordingly. I know this is not the experience every one has with CrossFit. I am glad this one is mine.

Does your behavior match your goals?

I am reading Dan John's book Never Let Go. One of the best books I have read in a while. I find it inspiring and funny. If you have any interest in weightlifting or getting stronger I highly recommend it.

In a section about goals, Dan asks the question "Does your behavior match your goals?" I thought this was wonderful food for thought.

Are you wanting fat loss but

• not taking a time to plan and purchase healthy food choices?
• find yourself eating food like cheese burger and fries because you "deserve" it after a hard workout?
• binge on the weekends when your schedule relaxes?
• not asking your friends and family to support your goals and not to sabotage you?

Are you wanting to be more financially stable but

• not taking time to define what that really means?
• don't have a plan to get yourself out of debit?
• continue to buy things you can't afford or don't need?

These questions can be applied to any goal these are just some common examples.

Of course first you need to know your goals (make sure they are worded as specifically as possible) and then ask yourself how your behaviors are aligning (or not!) with your goal.

Right now I am happy to report that in asking myself this question that my behaviors are in fact lining up. My 2 biggest goals at the moment are to get leaner (18% body fat by July 15th - I am at 22 now) and to get stronger. For the leaner part, my diet is consistently clean and I am getting the workouts in that I need to. Now the second goal is vague because I need more information before setting some specific guidelines. That means this month I am focusing on learning more about certain lifts and to have figured out by the end of the month what my 1) go to working weight is and 2) my max weight on these lifts. I am going to crossfit to push myself, looking at videos on line to learn more about proper form in lifts and setting up some one on one sessions with another trainer to get my form evaluated and to help figure out a baseline for weights.

Now I am not pointing fingers here.. this question is to merely help your internal dialogue and help you move towards accomplishing your goal. I have spent plenty of time setting goals, engaging in behavior that takes me further away from my goals and then whined and complained about how life was hard and its not fair. :)

Would love to hear from any one in what this question brings up and are you finding that your behaviors are or are not in line with your goals!

Peace out!

The 10000 challenge - week 2 complete

I am on the second week of the 10000 challenge.

I have to say I am having a ton of fun with this challenge.

I have become obsessed with my pedometer! I love tracking how many steps I am taking each day. Last week I averaged 14k steps per day! I remember when I got the pedometer for a contest in my corporate america days. One day during that challenge, I only got 2500 steps. That is barely moving!!

I am enjoy the thinking about the various focus areas and how I can get credit in each of them either each day or at least 1x through out the week. If you might remember from the last blog post the areas of focus are:

Steps, Resistance Training, Mobility, Education/Enrichment, Cooking, Food Tracking, Charity, Progress on goals, Outside world, Fear Depletion

Some are pretty easy for me - steps, resistance training, mobility and happily enough Education and Enrichment. I love that I work to get 1 hour a day either reading about or listening to podcasts on fitness and nutrition. It will make me a better me and a better trainer. From an earlier blog where I was complaining about how much I need to learn in this area, it is driving me to learn learn learn all I can!

I had several days last week where I got my 1 hour outside time. That made me pretty happy. However with high humidity and 98 degrees today... not sure how much I will get this week. :)

As I have been looking for opportunities for charity, they have been presenting them selves to me. It has been fun donating time and/or money to unexpected people and places!

Some other areas are harder for me. I don't like tracking food. I can make me feel anxious. Of course if I did do it and explored why I am anxious about it then I would be able to get points in tracking food and fear depletion! :) I commit to doing that before the end of the challenge. I need to think more about the fear depletion area as well and see how I can work more here. I know there is stuff that scares me and that I avoid...even if I can't name it at the moment. I want to push more into this space...it will bring growth and I love that.

Two weeks in... I can honestly say I love the challenge and the focus that it brings and that it is making my life even better!!

10000 Challenge

This past week I started a new challenge. It is from Leigh Peele who is one of my favorite people to get nutrition information from. Here is the link for the challenge specific information. http://www.10000challenge.com/

I am pretty excited about this challenge because it is not set up around fat loss - although you can certainly structure it that way if you would like. It has several different facets to it - activity, self improvement, progress on goals, cooking, mobility training, resistance training, conquering fear, being outside...so many good things.

Here are my goals:

Steps - Pedometer. I move alot during the day but interested to see what an average day is for me.

Resistance Training - This will be 4 to 5 times a week for me. I don't miss workouts very much at all so this will be no problem.

Mobility/Stretching - I need to be more consistent here and I would love to do this with my hubby so excited about this piece. Starting with basic plan and will build from there.

Education/Enrichment - I am a fairly new personal trainer (under 1 year in the field). I do all I can to read blogs, articles, books or listen to podcasts daily. Will also see if there are other subjects that I would like to read about to expand my knowledge.

Cooking - Have slacked off on cooking recently so will like the added focus. Should be able to hit this 5 to 6 times in a week.

Food Tracking - This drives me crazy. I tend to go alittle batty/obsessive when I start tracking numbers/food. Still I will do my best here. I might do it some off and some on.

Charity - Interested in finding all kinds of different outlets for this.

Progress - From my current goals:

1) Daily mediation practice - 10 min/day

2) 7 full pull ups with light band or 4 with out band

3) finish 21 day kettlebell challenge

4) 142/19% body fat.

5) Schedule a community fitness event

Outside World - I do usually get outside but will be conscious of increasing time out.

Fear Depletion - I am scared of food at the moment...or rather my lack of control around it. Trying something today to explore the control. Scheduling some community fitness events (what if no one shows!!) There are some clear things here I can do and will look for more opportunities to step up when I am feeling fear.

I have been having a great time this week seeing how I can step in to this challenge. Opportunities have been opening up all over the place for me and I LOVE IT!

First official check in is tomorrow!!

Challenge yourself!!!

Eating Gluten Free

Last week, I wrote about how I discovered my gluten intolerance. This week I wanted to talk about learning to eat gluten free. There is definitely a learning curve, like any lifestyle change.

The first month I ran out and got every thing gluten free that I could get my hands on bagels, rolls, pretzels, cereal, crackers, cookies, etc. I had that thinking of "if its gluten-free then its good for me." Not the case. As a matter of fact, some of the gluten free food is actually less nutrient dense than regular food as the manufacturers don't enrich everything with added vitamins like they do with regular food. Also just because it is gluten free doesn't mean you can eat MORE of it!

So the first month after being gluten free I still felt like crap.

In October I signed up with Jillfit.com for my first fat loss plan. No gluten there. Protein, veggies and healthy carbs. It took me a few weeks to find my stride with the plan but once I got it I FELT GREAT!! Clean healthy food. No processed food. I was thankful to Jillfit for helping really get into the groove with gluten free eating. I do eat the processed gluten free food some times on treat meals (gluten free pizza) or special occasions (gluten free cupcakes/cookies). I am happy to have my diet shifted from processed food and carbs to fresher whole foods. In learning to eat this way, I feel so much more stable, have more energy and less food binges. Plus I feel healthier and I am about 20lbs lighter.

It drives me crazy to hear about people going gluten free to lose weight and then they stock up on all the processed crap that they normally eat but its gluten free. That doesn't help any one. There is nothing magical about pretzels, chips, bread, cake and pizza that is gluten free. It has just as many calories, if not more than the regular version.

Any one could benefit from eating more whole foods. Foods with 5 or less ingredients.

Negotiating all of this does take time to learn and get used to. Find a dietitian or diet coach who can help you. Find support while you are making this change. There is no reason to feel frustrated and on your own. Many people have made the switch to a gluten free lifestyle and are usually happy to share information and help you along the way.

I am one of those people. Please let me know if you want any more information.

In honor of Celiac Awareness Month

May is Celiac Awareness Month. In honor of this awareness month, I thought I would share my story about gluten. I do not have Celiac's Disease...at least I don't think that I do. I am gluten intolerant. Here is how I figured that out.

It all started at the beginning of 2010. I decided for once and for all I would figure out my depression and fatigue issues. For years I had been struggling with depression with out any real cause to point to. I had been depressed previously but had clear life situations that I could point to and say.. yep.. that is making you REALLY unhappy. However, I did not have any of that going on. I had a great job, great relationships, no money concerns and no chronic health problems (that I knew of!). It really bothered me to wake up sad and unmotivated. I also struggled with what I referred to as mind bending fatigue. Tired when I first got up, regardless of how much sleep I had. Needing a nap in the day. Tired all the time.

First, I started with a therapist. I am a big supporter of therapy..for every one. We all have issues to work through and need a trusted person to help us see what we cannot or examine the things we would rather avoid. After several sessions, I realized I just did not have that much to talk about. No huge things in my life that I was not dealing with.

Next, I went to a nutritionist. I got off all my pills - anti-depressants and birth control - not my thyroid pills of course. I wanted to clean out my system and start from scratch. I tried several different approaches with nutrition including a several week cleanse of all things gluten, dairy, corn and other foods associated with inflammation. I didn't really feel that much better.

Next, off to an endocrinologist. I wanted to see if he could take a closer look at my hypothyroidism in a way that my family physician could not. He ran some blood tests. Thyroid levels were "ideal" and the only thing that seemed a little off was my liver enzymes. He wanted to run more tests. I asked him this time to please run a test for celiacs disease. The gold standard for celiacs testing is a biopsy of your small intestine. However, there are blood tests that will give good indications of the condition. Thankfully he was open to running that test. I came back off the charts in all of the immunoglobulin tests that you run for celiacs. I found out ON my 38th birthday. I still had birthday cake that day as I figured one more meal wouldn't do that much more damage.

While the doctor refers to it as having celiacs disease, I am not sure that I really agree with that as I have no gastro-intestinal reactions to gluten. In doing more reading and talking to people I think I fall into the gluten intolerant group. Gluten intolerance/sensitivity shows up in many different ways. For me, it makes me depressed and tired. Many people when they give up gluten have immediate positive reactions. My mom experienced a pretty radical transformation in giving up gluten. I describe my change as a slow gradual ascent. The depression is gone. The fatigue is better but still present and still harsh at times.

I do feel really bad when I do eat gluten. I had some frosted sugar cookies over Christmas. The next day I could hardly get out of bed and was overly emotional.

I wanted to share my story in case it helps any one else get diagnosed.

I will perhaps share later on about how it is to live gluten free.

Let me know if you have any questions!

Bummer Dude

What an interesting year for me in the area of fitness/workout knowledge. I started weight lifting in college... along with doing step aerobics (with slouch socks and the thong over the bike shorts look.. but we won't discuss that now). Regardless, I have been weight lifting for a long time... and I love working out and challenging myself... or so I thought.

In the past year of studying to get my personal training certification, I realized I don't know jack crap.

• I had no idea of how the human body REALLY moves and works. I am learning more about it and its fascinating!
• My world has been opened to a huge arena of amazing trainers and programs and ideas that I never knew existed before. I can't get enough of reading their blogs, books and listening to their podcasts. (Nick Tumminello, Leigh Peele, Alwyn Cosgrove, Todd Durkin, Craig Ballantine, the Fit Cast, Tom Venuto, Chris and Kara Mohr and Alan Aragon...just to name a few).
• I am learning moves.. and I mean really learning how to do moves that I have been doing for years...squats, lunges, deadlifts. I am learning for the first time how to clean, push press, kettlebell swing. It is a bit bewildering how much new stuff I am learning about stuff I thought I knew!!

I am as fit as I have ever been in my life and yet there is SO MUCH MORE room for growth.

I wish I would have had a strength coach or a weight lifting mentor when I started. I can only imagine where I would be now. I never really progressed beyond "doing 3 sets of 10"that I read in a fitness magazine. That is where I was comfortable. That is what I knew. I did not really know about how to push my limits... how to really grow my strength, my fitness level, my capacities.

I am learning now and I guess that is better than never learning it.

I read the other day that it takes 10 years to master a certain field.

I can hardly wait to see where I am in 10 years. It should be wonderful.

Where ever you go...there you are

I have been giving a great deal of thought to goals recently. Several incidents helped me focus on goal thinking: the ending of my jillfit plan, attending a meditation workshop, a goal discussion with my Lulu Lemon friends and finally some inspiring conversations with my best girl friends. I am sure more blog posts will follow that came out of those inspiring events but this one talks about the why behind the goals.

I was thinking about my 18% body fat goal. I never could answer in a complete enough way for me why I wanted to hit this. Yes, I want to look hot. I want to be lean and muscular. I want to have people look at me and need to use the words "ripped" or "diesel" to describe me. :)

I was way transfixed on the number but it seemed like the more I drove toward it the further away I was getting. What was I hoping would happen at that number? What would being at 18% body fat mean? Was I holding on a hope that something magical would happen if I hit that number? Would I suddenly look in the mirror and be completely at peace with my body? Would my struggle with food be over? Would opportunity open up that I didn't have before at 19% body fat?

Nope. I would just be me... at a lower body fat number. I would have days that I felt like I look awesome and days where I am completely unsatisfied at the reflection looking back at me. I would still want to eat copious amounts of peanut butter. My friends would (and do) love me at what ever body fat percentage I am at. The only opportunities that will open up for me are the ones that I actively pursue.

Have you ever felt attached to a goal like this? If only I had the money then I would....., If only I were 15 lbs lighter than life would be drastically different, if only I weren't stuck in this dead end job or relationship...., if only.. if only....

When you understand the why you want the goal, it helps you be clearer in decisions that you need to make. It helps you to understand the person you are. It made lead you in a different direction all together. Your goal of losing 15 lbs to have your life get better might be better resolved by having a goal of working on self esteem and self confidence.

But you know what, no matter what income level, new relationship, new job or the number on the scale you still have the same you. The same patterns that drive you, the same responses you respond with, the same triggers that you trigger you all of it will be with you, and all the things that make you happy, sad and mad. If you want to make BIG changes in your life, think about changing those kinds of things. THAT is amazing and transforming.

Gratitude

This morning I woke up and felt charged for the day. I am feeling overwhelmed by the sense of gratitude for my body. I ask a lot of it on a daily basis. It gets me through hard workouts and it gets me through the activities of daily life. I can breathe easily. My joints don't hurt. I can walk up and down stairs easily. I can see and hear what is going on around me. I have no life threatening diseases. Not every one can say that every day. I know there are people who wake up in pain, who are not very mobile, who have a hard time breathing fully, who can't see or hear that well. I am grateful for the body I have.

Do I wish I was a bit leaner now after eating clean for 6 months? Yep.

But in looking in the mirror this morning while working out and watching my leg muscles work, I am happy with the strong healthy body that I have. Connecting with this feeling makes me want to take even better care of it. Fill it with whole healthy food, minimize processed food and alcohol, move it often as well as give it the rest and recovery that it needs.

Take some time and think about your body. What it does, how it serves you in a day? Can you treat it better? Are you taking the best care of it you can? Connect with the gratitude for your body and treat it like the amazing machine that it is.

Round 2 the Lessons Learned

My goal for my 2nd 12 week fat loss plan was 18% body fat and to be able to run the recent 10k here in Richmond - wearing running shorts and a sports bra to be able to show off some impressive abs.

My results? Scale is about the same; I am about an inch smaller around my waist and butt, body fat is in the 20-22% range.

Admittedly I am disappointed I am not where I thought I would be. It is a drag to set a goal and then not hit it. Who do I have to hold responsible for this? Me! It was all in my hands to succeed or fail.

Of course from failure, must come learning.

What I learned:

- Every one struggles. How quickly you get back up is the important thing.

- Fatigue - My worst enemy, keeps me from working hard in the gym and makes me feel like I am hungry. I still have more to learn around this issue. I had deep fatigue during several weeks of this plan. Was it diet? Was it over training? What else was going on? How can I best work through this obstacle?

- Lifting Heavy is fun. This marked a return to what I had been doing a while back. I hadn't been in the gym in a while so I found going in there fun and inspiring for a while. I definitely gained muscle and saw how much I could push my body

- I need change in my routine. As referenced above, the gym was fun to go in to ....until it wasn't. About week 5 , I was really struggling with getting myself there and doing the same workout routine again. There were weeks I did my best to stay the course and other times I opened it up and just played.

- Eating a non-carb centered diet feels routine now. That makes me happy. When I started 6 months ago, I was a cereal for breakfast, rice for lunch, pasta for dinner and more cereal before bed kind of girl. Now, proteins and veggies make up most of my meals. I struggle less around choosing the healthy option at meal times.

I even made it through a gluten episode with out bingeing or drinking! I was thrilled. Usually when I feel tired and depressed (when I have had gluten) I want carbs and/or alcohol in the worst way. This time I just fueled with the good stuff - veggies and protein. That made me happy.

I was hoping to be leaner by this time but I am not. I was hoping to make it all the way through my 12 week plan with out a binge but I did not. I am happy I have learned and grew through the experience.

I still want to get leaner. I do not want to give up that goal. It is so much a part of the vision of who I am. I am taking a break from being on a plan for a few weeks and stop being as focused on the body fat number for the moment. Then I will hop back in as focused as ever!!

Round 2 Weeks 9 & 10: Playing and Learning

I can't lie. 12 weeks is a long time for me to follow a plan. While I have cracked down more on the food simply because I was feeling really bad there for a few weeks (fatigue, depression, lack of motivation, weight gain), I have started to play with my workouts more. I have been doing crossfit a couple of times a week which has been fun. I have also been putting together workouts that I want to do. Today was leg day but I didn't want to go in to the gym so I created a great leg circuit in my workout room and had a blast. I like workouts where I can feel playful and joyful. I will probably open this up even more once I get through my plan.

2 weeks from being done and I am pretty sure I am not going to hit my 18% goal nor my goal to be able to run the Monument 10k wearing just a sports bra and running shorts in order to show off some killer abs. While there is a bit of disappointment in saying that, I am ok with it. I have learned a ton about myself and my body over the past 10 weeks (how many people can say that?!) I am sure if I would have executed the original plan flawlessly I would have met my goals.

But there were times I wasn't happy and I wasn't feeling good. When that was the case, I made modifications and got help. It is funny to me that what helped with my food was really getting strict back to the original plan and writing down my food again. I feel good again and am enjoying the tracking of the eating. With my workouts, it meant being more open. I like to play and explore and push and move. This is one reason why I love being a personal trainer.

"Oh you don't like that exercise or can't do it? Lets try this one instead!"

" I just found this great new workout. Lets try it and see how it is. "

With clients I am able to increase my cycles of learning and learn more than I ever could on my own... and they get more fit because of it. win-win!

Some of you had asked what is next for me when this 12 weeks is up... I am not sure is my answer at the moment. I want to continue to get leaner for sure but I feel like I need a rest from following a prescribed plan. What ever is next it will definitely involve playing and learning!

Round 2 weeks 6 & 7: We All Fall

I am happy to report that the past two weeks of my program provided me with a BIG learning opportunity. I am laughing as I type that as I was pretty miserable during these 2 weeks but happy now to be on the other side and really learned from the experience.

I entered week 6 with boredom and dread. I don't like keeping my routines the same for very long. I found myself not looking forward to getting myself to the gym. I love working out so it drives me crazy when I dread it. Then mid-week of week 6, I got a cold. I never get sick and this knocked me to my knees. Of course the timing being awesome, in the throws of a cold, I attended a conference for personal trainers. I had an amazing weekend and learned a ton. As you might imagine at a conference for personal trainers it was working out fairly constantly for 2.5 days. Now my body was worn out in addition to feeling the burden of not wanting to workout.

At the end of week 6, the binge gates opened. Eating clean for me has become routine and fairly easy for me so I was surprised when this behavior surfaced.

Saturday night I went to a new restaurant with a friend had a yummy gluten free treat meal (cheese plate, crepes). Afterwards, I joined up with some friends to watch the UFC fights that night. I felt the need for more food in the worst, deep way....a burning desire to open the flood gates. I had chips and salsa and shared a dessert. I got home and I needed more... that urgent rush of food.... I turned to a favorite combo of peanut butter and raw oatmeal with some honey. Some how, I finally stopped and went to bed.

Next morning I woke up and started fresh... full veggie egg white omelet, oat bran - my usual. I was fine until that evening then I felt that pulling hunger... no I am not sure I can call it hunger.. I was very aware during all of this eating that the primal feeling I was feeling was not hunger but I ate anyway. That night my other favorite food combo - peanut butter (trigger food anyone?) with rice cakes - some times with chocolate and a time with marshmallow fluff that my daughter had purchased. Whoa.. it was crazy and felt unstoppable.

I texted my coach.... she told me to not beat myself up and start fresh again in the morning (are you picking up on the best way to recover from over eating?). So I did. It took me a few days to recover from this binge and bring my eating back to 100% compliance.

When I look to the reasons I can see that I was headed for it for a while:

• I had been sick - not getting the sleep I needed plus working out and not resting when I had a pretty bad cold
• For the past few weeks for what ever reason, I was not getting all my meals in so I was running at a bigger calorie defect than I should have
• I was feeling a little frustrated with my workouts and my slow process (consistent progress just not at the rate that I was wanting - but guess what? despite what the Biggest Loser shows you... body transformations TAKE TIME!)

So week 7, I changed up completely. I did some completely different workouts. I didn't make myself go into the gym if I was dreading it (fortunately I have a sweet set up for working out at home). I allowed myself some extra rest and have been making sure that I am getting all my calories in most days.

I am now facing week 8 with 4 weeks left to go in this round. I am read to face it and push hard to the end. I am pretty damn excited for it! I probably would not be had it not been for my stumble and making myself learn from it. We all fall... and we can all pick ourselves up, take a deep breath, learn and continue on.

Peace out!

Buddies and Fun - The Ideafit PT Conference

This weekend I attended the IdeaFit Personal Training Conference in Alexandria, Va. I had been looking forward to this conference for months. It lived up to all the expectations that I had. I was most excited about meeting the 3 trainers that I have been learning most from since becoming a personal trainer.... Todd Durkin, Alwyn Cosgrove and Nick Tuminello . I have loved learning from their youtube videos, blogs and books. They were even more amazing and inspiring in person. My workshops with each of them were each special and unforgettable for different reasons. If you are not familiar with their work - CHECK THEM OUT!!

While I learned so many things over the course of the weekend, my biggest lessons were around fun and workout buddies.

Fun - I need to bring more fun to my personal workouts and my clients' workouts. Many of you know, I enjoy working out. It is the part of fitness that I have always been good at and consistent with. I really enjoy working out. I do. But am I having fun with it? Can I make it more fun for myself? I don't know... but I am going to figure that out.

For my clients, they tell me they like coming to work out with me. I want to see how I can bring more fun into their workouts. Have them feeling challenged and smiling consistently. That would be awesome.

Buddies - The second lesson from the weekend was about workout partners. Many workshops were how to get more from working out with doing partner exercises....even had the Cosgrove's talk about moving to a semi-private personal training model and the benefits for the trainer and the clients. I workout alone for the most part. I run with friends some times and on a more rare occasion take a group ex class. What am I missing out on not having a partner with my lifting? How much better could I be if I had some one there to push me? I do like my alone time in the gym and getting the work done. But I had a fun time this weekend drilling with some people and I have seen some great videos of people pushing each other in the gym. I don't have any one now who could step in to this role at the moment but I will be looking for the opportunity as it comes up.

How do you have fun in your workouts?
Is it better with a buddy?

Round 2 weeks 4&5: Trial and Error

I had a great week last week in my plan to hit 18% body fat... and really ideally have abs that I am happy to show off. I had my body fat measured and came in at 19.5%. WOW. I finally broke that 20% barrier. It was a lot of hard work for me to get there.

There are some times on my early morning drives to the gym I think to myself... "I wish I could just be there!! ("There" being at my goal. ) I don't want to have to keep doing all this hard work." But you know what ? THAT is what keeps me marching to my goal. Daily, consistent actions - working out and fueling my body that get there. There is no magic pill. And I don't want to lose the joy of the journey. The journey brings presence in the moment and brings the opportunity to learn. If I could just set a goal and suddenly just be there... the victory would not be as sweet and the learnings would be shallow. Often too once we get to our goals, we realize there is not a "there" to get to.

I have to remember that when I hit 18%, the only thing that changes is my body fat. I will still be the same Kara just a little fitter, leaner. By enjoying the journey I learn more about who I am and I get to test and learn. The journey to get to where I am from a fitness place has been years in the making. I have had to figure out what kind of workout works best for me and countless cycles of tweaking of nutrition and working with several professionals to help me out.

Set your goals and go for them boldly. Be present. Pay attention. What needs adjusting? what is not working? What other support do you need?

Round 2 Week 3: Roles of the people around you

Week 3 of my new program: Really liking it and noticing some good changes from week 2 to week 3. It feels good doing things every day that are getting me closer to my goals. Honestly, I keep touching my stomach all the time, amazed that it is not covered in near as much fat as it once was.

My thought for this week's blog is the role that people in your life play. At the end of last week, I was feeling pretty broken, tired and discouraged. I got an email from my coach that contained the words that I needed to hear. It turned my mindset completely around and I was charged to keep plowing ahead.

It reminded me of how important it is for me to have a powerful advocate for me in my life. Some one who believes in me completely even when I don't believe in myself. I have found that I can use their belief in me to pull through those times when I don't believe in myself. I had an amazing manager (and thankfully, now friend) where I used to work that believed in me to be bigger and better than I was being. I didn't always believe it but I thought hey if he believes in me then I need to at least step forward into this new space more. Because of him, I started on a path of amazing personal growth and I am better for it.

Another role in my life is the realist - my husband is honest to a fault and I have learned to be careful what questions to ask him if I don't REALLY want the honest answer. (Honey, how do I look in this dress?) :) But I have come to rely on him to keep me honest and grounded in reality and I know when I get compliments from him that they are well earned.

Of course I need my girl friends for that wonderful validation.. a pick me up, a rant session, fun deep sharing and connection.

In thinking about these roles and sharing with my husband, he asked me - Can you learn to be these things for yourself as well?

Huh. I don't know. I can't imagine being the advocate for me that is filled by some of the other people in my life. But what if they are not there and I need to get through? In those times, I can tap into their belief in me. I can hear their words and feel the impact in my heart in mind in response. I think that qualifies as filling that role myself. :)

What roles do you like/need to have in your life?

What roles do you fill for others?

What are the gaps that you need to be able to provide for yourself?

Have joy and fitness in each and every day!

Kara

Round 2 week 2

I am in such a different place than I was a week ago. Last week I was scared to be starting this journey. This week brought experience and perspective. I am loving lifting heavy. It makes me feel powerful and happy. I feel like even with one week my body is responding positively.

Some things I learned this week:

- Make the plan visible so that you can see if you are being consistent in your daily behaviors in order to hit your plan mile stones.

- Being 90% at clean eating brings results, being at 70% does not

- Be, Do , Have - Be the person you want to be, do the things that they do, then you will have the results that you want. For me, Be a lean, fit person.(For me this is visualization, picture that I am that person now - what does that look like? What do I need to be doing? as opposed to one day.. I would like to be a lean and fit person) Do the things that lean, fit people do (eat clean 90% of the time, workout hard and heavy, make choices ahead of time in challenging situations that will help you be successful in your goals) , then I will have the results that I am looking for.

- my hand strength limits what I want to be lifting. I just bough some versa straps and can't wait to give them a try!!

Learning lots and keeping on the path!!

Round 2 day 1...feeling the fear

Last night I got my new food and workout plan from Jillian. Until I got the email I was feeling rather sleepy. As I looked over the plan, I felt restless and nervous. Wow. I have set this goal of 18% body fat for myself... get more ripped, build muscle. This plan is going to take me there. What I am feeling? Fear. Can I do this? Can I put my money where my mouth is? I have told so many people about my goal suppose I fail? Suppose it is too hard and I can't? I think these are things that we all feel when we are about to take the next big step. Feel the fear and do it anyway.

I was so nervous that I did not sleep well. Got up at 5:30 and was at the gym by 6:10.

I got through it! The first workout is complete. Heavy and Hard with a learning curve. I am excited to hit the point in a few weeks when I am comfortable with the workouts so that they flow better and I can push myself more. Now I am bumbling between equipment and guessing what the weight should be. I think with this plan I do wish I had a workout partner to help me go heavier. Either way, I will figure out a way to push and grow.

Still scared and yes I might fail short of my goal but I know at the same time if I don't try for this I will never know what I can be.

PS. I also remember one reason I prefer to workout at home... there was a fairly fit woman there who did what must have been 500 reps of single arm bicep curls with a 5lbs weight while talking to her manpanion. I was trying hard not to judge but damn... it was annoying. Just because I feel like the gym isn't social time and you have to push hard... doesn't mean every one else feels the same way. :)

The first 12 weeks.....

Back in October I started an eating plan that I bought from Jillfit.com. Jillfit is a wonderful company that helps women prepare for fitness competitions... also just the rest of us who need to unload a bit (or a lot of fat). I was nervous but really wanted to try having a diet coach - I would have to send in pictures weekly and keep my coach, Jillian, informed of how things were going. I thought the extra accountability might help... it did.
The first 2 weeks were a bit of a struggle but also produced some astounding changes in my body. Inches were flying off. It was quite amazing.
My results and learning from the 12 week experiment:
Weight lost: 14lbs
Inches lost: 6.75 inches
Other lessons:
There are other spices other than salt!
There are healthy things that you can eat that actually do NOT help you with fat loss.
Cheat nights are awesome.
Jillian is awesome!
Alcohol is a poor decision maker and I should probably avoid it to make my goals.
Regardless of how much I think I have it under control, I will still stumble.
While I could have done better, I did make it through the holiday seasons and LOST weight!!

Round 2 starts on Monday!! The goal for this year is 18% body fat. Can't wait to post pics of some hot abs!!